Past Imperfect
Roleplaying Log: Past Imperfect
Participants
IC Details
Synopsis:

Three years ago, just before Registration, a little girl is ready to run.

Other Characters Referenced: Cyclops, Danielle Moonstar
IC Date: August 15, 2019
IC Location: Xavier's Mansion
OOC Notes & Details
Posted On: 16 Aug 2019 05:26
Rating & Warnings: Bad Ending
NPC & GM Credits:
Associated Plots

Some time in the past.

Xavier's Mansion, before the troubles. It's difficult to place the exact time anymore, though the news was rife with rumours. A newspaper left in the lobby had tears across it, a burn or two. Emotions were running high.

'Superhuman Registration to become law'

Conversations were huddled or loud, depending on the persons involved. At least one fistfight has been broken up already by teachers, and if you don't know about it yet, you're about to. Because nobody will shut up about it…

In all the hubbub, someone's been missed though. Under the stairs, where a loose wallboard creates a hiding place. It's been there forever, all the teachers and students know about it, but the teachers pretend not to. I mean, if the hiding-stairs aren't sacred, nothing will be.

Rahne Sinclair huddles there, alone. She doesn't really have many friends. Dani's stopping a fight, she's always been so into everything. Who else is close to her? It's difficult to think of anyone, really. Though someone on campus isn't busy, and has reason to know.

*

Of course he knows. With his sense of smell, how could he not? The initial reluctance, the bristling, though on the outside some might consider it simply his bad nature, his dislike for people. But Logan more worries about doing harm than being put out of sorts himself.
Yet he pushes off the wall of where he'd been standing. Just outside Ororo's philosophy class, passing the time and listening. He turned his head, adjusted the hang of his hat with thumb and forefinger, then started the walk down the hallway.
She'd smell him at first. Logan's easy to catch. That mix of steel and blood and sweat, with the tang of exertion there. She likely thought him a grim man, perhaps even a frightening man. Hopefully he'd walk on past.
But he didn't. He stopped there, hand on the banister, back towards the hiding area. For a few moments he just stood there. At times he'd worry at the corner of his mouth as if he wished he had something to smoke.
But then she heard his voice, a low rumble as he said. "C'mon, kid. Let's take a walk." Who was he talking to? Her? Nobody else was there…

*

She goes silent. Not that it fools him, nothing ever really fools Logan. Then she starts shaking, burying her face in her knees for almost a minute. So much going on in the kid's head, she's not taking all of this well, and nobody's really there for her right now.

So when the wall board starts to move, it's almost surprising in itself. That she can act under the level of fear that she's giving off; smells don't lie.

Then she crawls out. Sullen, fingers gripping into her loose sweat pants like ice. She looks up at him with the puppiest puppydog eyes, then drops her gaze. And takes the time to seal up behind her. It's a secret after all.

"Whaur to?"

*

The fear is an almost palpable thing, and to people such as them it is amazing that others do not react to it, that to them it is barely recognized if at all. Yet when she speaks he turns his head to look at her with deep blue eyes like the darkest parts of the ocean. His brow is subtly furrowed, marred with a look that to others might be intimidating. But with her, combined with his body language, his scent. She might well recognize it's concern. Albeit concern repressed.
One shoulder rolls as he gestures down the hall. "Outside, we're gonna check the perimeter." As if he didn't come by at Xavier's behest. But then he pushes off of the wall, hands sliding into his pockets as he starts to move toward the back hallway and the double doors that lead to the outside.

*

The fact that Dani isn't in that direction isn't missed. She won't have to open up to her friend, not right now. So Rahne gives a sniff, then walks after.

She's so used to following orders. It's almost like she isn't there, if not for the scent. This is why she's not making friends. She doesn't make noise, she sits in the corners and looks around, says nothing of note. If she has a destiny, it's not here yet.

When she comes outside she glances about, as if expecting an attack. Flinches at a sound, nothing even related. Then she whispers, "As…wolf?" Oh, still afraid of that. So much in two tiny words.

She knows there's nothing wrong with the perimeter. Both of them knew the instant they caught the first breeze.

*

Nothing might be wrong with it now, but when they walk it… who knows? But when they reach the outside and she asks her question he'll say, "As yourself." Which… might not help her entirely. But he'll be content at first. Content for them to move along the grounds, to take the slow steady hike that starts along the lake. They'll pass the boathouse and the docks.
But it's around the edge of the property, where past the fence the forest continues up toward the North and the rolling hills.
It's here that the scents are richer, more hints of the passing wildlife. The family of deer that has been there for the last month, the foxes that had moved into the fallen copse of trees. Here that Logan lifts his voice and tells her simply, "Listen."
He tilts his head to the side.

*

She turns. She has to, the sounds are so rich. There's nothing wrong, the woods aren't trying to hurt her. Even when they do, it's not because she's who she is. What she is. It's just life.

Peace. A moment's peace, and she's crying. On her knees, her short hair shaking. She's so tiny. The world is too big. And she starts to talk. No, not talk. To babble.

"Ah kinnae do et. Et's comin' here too, thaur be no way tae hide, th' badness es gonnae take away Dani an' ah cannae stoppit Mr Logan. She be too good an' so strong an ah havenae anythen tae offer, ah fail so hard allae th' taime an..an…"

She's not listening anymore. Or she's listening so hard, as if she needs this peace. The talk of what could happen to you if you register, of what will happen if you don't, there's no good choice. And she's not ready for it.

*

"Hey," Logan's a presence, in the world of man and the world of nature. She can be so in tune with things just as she can, just as he can. But right now there is a world of noise and fears that is raging inside her assuredly. Driving her to this point. And at first all he says is that one word.
Perhaps it's enough. To break that downward spiral. To get her blue eyes to meet his. To get her to see that focus he's giving to her. And perhaps then, with her attention secured, he says quietly in a tone gentler than most have heard him speak, "Not to what's in here. Not right now." His hand covers his heart slightly, then he turns.
A step on the path further to a large boulder that he sits down on so they can meet eye to eye. "Listen to what's out there… to how the world is aware of us. What we are right now."

*

Not…easy. She's trying, but her mind is spinning. There's so much in it, a telepath would block her out from self-preservation. Likely why Xavier had Logan do it and not himself; she needs to calm down before he can even speak to her.

So the fact that Logan is male, older than her…and giving orders, sinks in. She shuts up, bites her lower lip, and slams her eyes closed. Calm down, listen. Calm down, listen. Calm down, don't disobey, pay attention, open your eyes. She does, and the effort makes her shake. So broken inside, how has noone noticed?

The answer to that is, of course they've noticed. They're giving her the isolation she asks for, time to heal. Patience and peace.

And she nods, breathing, and looks around. At the world that isn't out to get her. It doesn't lie; nature is harsh, but it is honest. She hears a cricket chirp and smiles. Somehow.

*

She can watch him as he looks to her, as he just witnesses for a time that slow handling of her own inner turmoil. The calm that begins and eases forth until there's that hint of a smile. And it's enough to get him to nod slowly. As he can hear that shift in heartbeat subtly in the quiet of the night. Can smell that change from fear to acceptance.
Then he speaks to her in that steady firm… yet protective tone as he tells her gently. "It's not always going to be like this Rahne. There are gonna be times that it's worse. But many more times it's gonna be better."
He leans forward slowly, forearms resting on his knees and his fingers interlacing as he focuses fully on her. On this youth that is fighting past so much. He tells her quietly, "I went through the same sort of thing you're going through. Seemed like no matter what I did it wasn't good enough. No matter how hard I cared for someone… it wasn't enough."
His eyes lower slightly, but then return to hers, holding her gaze steadily. "It was hard. But I got through them. And if you were ta see me back then you woulda seen what a mess I was."
He straightens up a little, "But you're a strong girl, Rahne. And you're gonna be stronger because you can choose how you want to be. In more than just what form you wear."
His brow furrows a little, "And what's gonna let us get through all of this? It's this family we have around us. It's gonna be you, and me, and Dani, and Xavier, and yeah even Summers."
"So you're gonna be strong. Because some day, prolly when I'm old and grey, yer gonna be there ta help me out when I need it. Alright?"

*

She's fairly certain that this is more words than Mr Logan's ever uses in her entire time at the school, and she's frowning a tiny bit as she tries to track it all. Strong. He's wrong about that, she thinks. But she keeps it inside. For once, maybe forever.

I'm weak. I'm nothing, Dani will be strong. She IS strong. Mr Logan's here for them. What is one useless girl stopping them from moving forward?

So she smiles then, her first lie. And nods. "Family be importent, sair. Ah know thet much." She sits down though, not moving to go back. And puts her face onto her knees, staring at the ground between her legs. And listening.

"Mebbe yer raight. But ah need tae calm down. Got so much en me, atimes." She pauses, listening, and her eyes flicker his direction. Hidden by her knees, she can't see. "How did ye do et?"

She's already decided, but she's hoping it's not the only way.

*

His nostrils flare subtly as he watches her and she can feel the weight of that regard heavy upon he shoulders. He listens to her and in some ways he might be able to tell what some of those dark thoughts are that flit through her mind, since in a lot of ways they were like the ones he had once upon a time.
"I didn't have a family, Rahne." He tells her levelly, perhaps giving her some insight into why his early life was so rough. "At least none worth a damn, 'cept for a few that were of my own choosing. It took me a long time ta find myself. A longer time ta become a self that I wanted ta be."
He turns his head to the side and looks back towards the manor, frowning. Then he looks back and tells her. "I know right now it might seem like the world's about ta end. I'm here ta tell you it ain't. And we'll get through alla this together. But you need ta give us that chance."

*

She isn't used to having to make hard decisions, so she isn't quick to answer. Ears perked, the girl seems to fit here in ways that she never did at the mansion. So quiet, and quiet is rewarded away from mankind. When she lifts her head it might even be missed, but all she's doing is watching a bluejay in the distance.

"Ah got nowhere else tae go," she says, not wanting to commit a sin in a lie, but the truth isn't there for her either. She hears it all, no family, save for abuse. Familiar story really, I wonder how many others have it too.

"Can ah have thes for now though? Jes' for a bit longair." She looks out into the coming darkness, waiting for it to take her. Maybe she'll sleep in fur, just once. It sounds like a good idea.

Then give them the chance to help. It's not so hard, and all of her friends are here.

*

"We can stay here as long as ya want, girl." Logan says as he turns to look across the landscape around them. It is quiet with only the chirp of crickets and peppers, the trickle of water from one of the small rivulets that feed into the lake. And the two of them settled there amongst the nature.
He looks back to her and nods slightly then says simply, "All night if ya want." And he means it when he says it. She can sense the sincerity just as he can in others. It'll be enough for now.

*

But she didn't come back in the morning.

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