The Fools of Thunder
Roleplaying Log: The Fools of Thunder
Participants
IC Details
Synopsis:

Atli and Thor catch up

Other Characters Referenced: Rocket, Loki, Noble Barnes, Jane Foster, Every Firebird, Namor, Dani Moonstar, Owen Mercer
IC Date: August 28, 2019
IC Location: Waffle House
OOC Notes & Details
Posted On: 29 Aug 2019 20:41
Rating & Warnings: Rated F for Fool
NPC & GM Credits:
Associated Plots

“So you see, the whole of the realms are imperiled once more. The goat has likely run off to I know not where, and the last Valkyrie that the Son of Coul has not vigorously pounded into exhaustion is in the clutches of some sort of stupid shadow bear. I speak of course of Danielle, Moon Star.”

Atli Wodendottir had been going on for some length to her grandfather, or would-be grandfather. Whatever, it was confusing. Just like everything else about Atli’s life, and her arrival here on Midgard with shadow-monsters in her wake. The assertion that she was, in fact, Thor the Avenger’s granddaughter from the future was never exactly a proven fact.

And yet, here she was, at Thor’s favorite Waffle House, eating enough for seven and washing it down with tea she’s spiked from her Everflowing Flask. Acting very much like he does, or did, at least, some centuries prior.

“I think I will hit it in the eye with my spear, and though I am certain I can handle this threat that has been set upon the X-People and their fortress and often-destroyed washing pond, I thought you should know.” All of her previous talk of Dani and the Demon Bear and the story about the dark forest near the mansion and it’s shadowy tendrils falls away. Her gaze takes a hard turn, and fixes across the table at her grandfather.

“A pair of fools have the Lyre of Odin. This time they only summoned myself and Brightwind, which was good. But who knows what else they might summon. One of them is a man who specializes in throwing bendy sticks. I am not sure they understand the power of it. And so I thought it might be good to have a responsible person involved, and Lord Stark was unavailable..”

Atli beams and raises her tea, as if toasting to her grandfather, and she beams a smile at him that could light up a dying star, much less a room. Certainly, the mid-day traffic at this, the legendary Waffle House, takes notice.

—-

EARLIER:

“Hey Thor,” Alice Hyatt called out as the god(s) of thunder arrive and she gives them the royal treatment by adding, “Have a seat wherever you’d like.” Which is a booth next to the window not far from the door.

“This is my treat,” says the Son of Odin in a cosmopolitan fashion as he reaches into the knit hoodie he wears to pull out a thick envelope, “You must have Midgardian currency to dine at the House of Waffles,” he Thor-splains and pulls a stack of twenty-dollar bills measuring five-or-six inches out of the envelope and places them upon the edge of the table.

Alice Hyatt arrives before they’ve even really settled, “The usual?” She asks as the money is put upon the table and begins to write in her notepad reciting, “A stack of pancakes thrice the height of my coin. A great hog’s stomach stripped and fried. The eggs of two-dozen fowl. A tea which has no bottom.”

Looking to Atli, “And for the la—..”

Thor puts another stack of bills upon the table and Alice cannot do anything other than grin, “The same?”

The cook and the other waitress exchange eager looks. The tip-sharing program in effect at this location has minimized the number of fist-fights that erupt between staff when Thor lands in the parking-lot.

NOW:

His tea glass connects with hers and he drinks, heavily.

Whatever refinement he may have developed over the past few centuries erodes quickly in the presence of one who would share his less refined sensibilities. If he were to realize some social faux paus he would paternally explain how the customs of this world have developed. To an outsider, or someone as clever as Atli, it would be clear that his understanding of this world remains very shallow as evidenced by the manner in which he both ordered and paid for this feast.

When his tea is refilled he pushes it towards Atli and continues to chew.

“Hrmph,” he intones wiping his mouth with his napkin while giving a big gulping swallow of waffle, “This is the washing pond where you defeated the shark?” He nods there dimly remembering, “I have meant to journey and see this pond for myself — to understand why it is so often attacked.” Which means to go swimming in what he thinks must be a godly washing pond and to perhaps battle a shark for himself — having forgotten that the space-shark did not arrive there of its own desire.

He begins to collect the eggs of at least three fowl upon his fork when ‘Lyre of Odin’ is brought into the conversation. This gives him pause and when she talks of it summoning her he ruefully shoves the food into his mouth and chews it loudly in contemplation, “Bendy sticks?” He then asks flecks of egg coming from his lips, “What size stick?” Thor asks as if this were key, “Great sized sticks,” holding his arms outward such that the knuckles of one hand strikes the window with a *thonk* while the other goes fully into the aisle, “or tiny mortal sticks..” Hands move together about a foot across then he looks at that space and moves them closer together, “the type of which children might throw at one another?” Children should not possess a mystic lyre, you see.
—-
Thor remembered her great battle with SLOWJAW, the best of all space sharks! For a short time while Toothbender was missing, Slowjaw came to terms with being defeated and served as her mount for awhile. That Thor remembers this very fond victory seems to brighten her face even further, which is unfortunately stuffed with waffles. Some small bits spill out. "The very same washing pond! I have also wondered as much. But I think I discovered the answer, purely by accident and while defeating the Were-Bilgesnipe, Fair Rocket, Wise Groot, and I came upon a pool that invigorated Groot in ways that might rival a god. I then got to thinking."

A most dangerous proposition indeed.

Her fork points at Thor, and swirls about the air to weave her thoughts into being. "What if there are more of these pools. Places with regenerative powers untold. What if there is a reason Midgard is always the focus of terrible threats and horrible calamities despite it's people being so very bendy. I say, it is something in the water. It would make sense for the X-People to be guardians of such a place. I have seen it destroyed no less than-" A hand comes up, two fingers, then four. She squints.

"-Some number of times, and yet when I return it is always regenerated. You see? Regenerative powers!"

Atli gives a firm nod, clearly having figured it all out, and then goes on to recover some of her meal and shove it into her face. It gives Thor time to muse about stick sizes.

"Verily, the latter. Sticks bent in such a way that they might return when thrown. I thought at first he simply wished he had a hammer, but then I realized after a number of encounters with him he is simply a fool." As clever as Atli is, being a strategist for the Guardians of the Galaxy and all, she has not quite figured out the puzzle of the demon bear. Or the fools with the Lyre. It shows all over her face. But then Thor's questions seem to draw an inevitable line. "What if this stupid shadow bear knows that the only way to obtain The Magical Washing Pool of the X-People is to destroy it's guardian, Danielle, the Moon Star? What if that is what the beast is after? Even though you have yet to find my grandmother, you still have wisdom untold!"

Her fork hits the plate.

Her eyes narrow.

"Speaking of which." Atli draws bits of folded paper from her pocket. "My investigation into my lineage continues. It is important that I be born, you see, so it is paramount that you find my grandmother. My investigation has turned up many leads." Most pointedly, the first paper has Jane Foster's name crossed out.
—-

Thor comes forward a bit as if the fork she used to weave her thoughts possessed true enchantment. The scenario she proposes seems to draw him into a moment of contemplation as he idly wags his own fork in counter-spell, “Pools of restoration upon Midgard,” he repeats gravely adding, “which might even return life to those who are almost dead.”

“Just exactly what the dying devourer of worlds would seek..,” he stares at Atli for a long moment then as if his mind wanders someplace distant. Perhaps seeing a glimmer of the future. Perhaps having a moment of omnipotence.

His cheeks puff a bit and he puts his fist to his lips, belching. Perhaps it was just gas.

Smacking his lips to savor the taste of food-turned-air in his mouth he then says, “If these X-Folk protect a magic washing pool then we should surely help them,” Thor says, “You were right to bring this to me.” He begins swirling a piece of bacon around in syrup, “A demon bear may be a demon but it is also a bear,” he says in plain demonstration of his wisdom, “If you are to jam a spear into its eye you must lure it into the open.” He puts the bacon into his mouth chewing as he talks, “It is known to me that bears cannot resist honey and that they delight in the murder of small woodland creatures. If you could somehow combine both of these pleasures it would surely come forth to slake its appetite and /then/,” he picks up a sticky knife giving a good mock-thrust, ”you could spring your trap and jam Jarnbjorn into its skull and track it back through the gateway to its den and finish the job.”

“Aye,” he then adds to the man with the bendy sticks, “but he is a fool with the lyre.”

The Son of Odin seems as if he were to say more but when she drops her fork he stops chewing. Lips purse and then he grimaces as she turns to the topic of his eventual marriage. Leaning forward he looks at the unfolded paper and seeing Jane’s name crossed off his cheeks turn a touch scarlet. That someone with so worthy a spirit would reject him does wound his pride.

So Thor leans backward and folds his arms, “You are here,” he says again displaying his keen insight, “and so you have been born or you will be born for if you were not or will not then I would have twice as many waffles.” Briefly smug for having distilled temporal mechanics so easily he does, after a moment, lean forward a touch. Eyeing the paper. Who else is on that list?

—-

Really, Atli doesn't know any better. Sure, she's fought beside Thors before. Even King Thor is a fool, but yet the wisdom he has is not something that sprung up out of nowhere overnight. Some of it is here already. Bears like mauling small woodland creatures. They also like honey. The clear answer is to find a rabbit and slather it with honey, and then wait to spring a trap. Her eyes light up, spurred on by inspiration, and perhaps the magical motion of Thor's fork. "Thor, you're not even half the fool my Thor says you are! That's brilliant! I know just the woodland creature, and getting honey shall be easy enough. We will simply procure it the same way we procured the butter to make our statue."

Verily, Rocket, fairest rabbit of them all, will love her latest plan. Well, maybe the stealing a truck full of honey part.

It is then that Thor turns his gaze to her list, and then explains temporal mechanics as only Thor the Avenger might, which makes Atli scoff and forget all about her wisdom. "Don't be a fool, that isn't how it works! The Sorceress Supreme, Jane Foster, explained how it actually works, and she is perhaps the smartest person in all the realms." Not that Atli volunteers this information. Mostly because she forgot. Atli eats with a touch of anger, stuffing a waffle in her mouth while talking around it. "Now tell me which of these women is most likely to take pity on you and see that you don't die alone at the end of time. And don't complain about it. This is your fault, after all. If you hadn't shattered all the nameplates on your wives' tombs we wouldn't be in this situation!"

The list has a few names on it not yet crossed out: Lady Sif. Lady Carter. Child of Wehrsweir. Woman of Wonders. Lady Firemind. Lady Flamefeather. Namor. Some other Firebird??? Some fool dragon???

—-

Thor reaches for his glass in hefts it in honor of his own wisdom toasting her briefly before taking a long sip. It is only a moment later that he’s once again a fool.

His gaze becomes dubious as Janes Foster is exalted as both the Sorceress Supreme and the smartest person in the realms, “Hrmph,” is his reply, “Verily, she is a skilled techomancer,” he must concede and makes a tap-tap motion with his fingers, “I once heard it said she destroyed an entire conclave of trolls by writing a single barb upon her keyboard.” Jaw tenses and he begrudgingly admits, “Heroism enough that the nation of Australia would name their finest ale in her honor.”

“And certainly she has great patience to shelter little noble Barnes,” lifting his hands he waves them in an effeminate manner and takes on a high pitched voice, “Oh Jane, please give me knowledge for I am not of this time and very easily confused.”

Hands fall to the table then and the whole thing gives a clatter as dishes and utensils rattle, “But I say to thee, Atli Wodendottir, profess though she may she knows nothing of how to slay dragons. Cannot choke a serpent?” He snorts with a derisive humor, “Foolish.”

He reaches and takes the paper then giving it a hard glare. Asgardian. Human. Fish. Princess. Two or three things that are on fire and also a bird. Namor. A dragon.

Thor looks up over its top voice swelling in high-praise, “I do not know which best possesses the temperament to walk into the end of times with me but /verily/ I could spend eternity courting this entire list.” He studies it for a few more moments and then begins to fold it down once again before sticking it in the front pocket of his hoodie so that he might ponder his options in private later.

The Thunderer regains his fork and a packet of butter which he squeezes at one end forcing it out onto his waffles in one big blob. He spreads it about fondly with his fork, reminiscent, and then forcibly stabs it before shoving the whole mess into his mouth, “Howsh muh brutsher?” He mumbles full-mouthed.

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