Honey, I have a Raccoon
Roleplaying Log: Honey, I have a Raccoon
IC Details

* This scene technically happened before the shadows left the Mansion's grounds*

Or where they try to convince Rocket to be smeared in honey to attract the Demon Bear. Bear's like honey after all.

Other Characters Referenced:
IC Date: September 12, 2019
IC Location:
OOC Notes & Details
Posted On: 14 Sep 2019 00:47
Rating & Warnings:
Scene Soundtrack: [* ]
NPC & GM Credits: Dani
Associated Plots

"Verily, this bit of white hair of yours reminds me of the great Magnet-Man, who crushes hi-" And that is when Atli Wodendottir reached up to ruffle Rogue's hair, and found herself stumbling around as if drunk, babbling more utter nonsense than usual. How she got to talking to Rogue about the destruction of the Washing Pond of the X-People and the Vile Shadows in the forest nearby, who knows. But in an instant, Rogue would have known three things:

1) The great power of thunder and lightning now coursing through her veins.

2) The alluring, amorous power of firebirds on certain lightning-infused Asgardians and most importantly…

3) How to Fix Everything.


This was Thor's genius, brilliant plan, but Atli was rounding everyone up. And so with her new co-strategist of strangely like mind, Rogue in tow, she summoned her good friends Rocket and Groot to the very edge of the shadowy forest just outside the X-Mansion, and began to explain while waiting for her Grandfather's no doubt dramatic entrance.

"Now Rocket, there really are no two ways about this. The whole of the universe is in peril, and but for this creature's weakness for the flesh of woodland animals and a love for honey, all would be lost." Atli holds up two honey-bear containers, her eyes narrowing on her dear, dear friend. She has an entire bucketfull of more honey-bear containers. "It is time for us to slather you into a delectable treat. In recompence, I would be remiss if I did not tell you that this creature will require the most devastating weapons you have to offer, most especially the ones the Son of Coul has said you may not specifically ever use here on Midgard. So I hope you brought them."

Worth noting:

Rogue had issued a "hey, wait," seconds before the fateful hair ruffling.

Thing worth noting, part two: it hasn't really been a great time for Rogue of late. First there was a long, frustrating, and ridiculously eventful trek back home from Mississippi with one Kitty Pryde. Neither of them had money or identification, and for awhile one of them couldn't even get corporeal. Rogue kept trying to use shadow stepping, inherited from her attempts to touch the demon bear, to get them both home. Results were mixed.

But here she is, home.

"Verily, sugar," she mutters, "I dunno if this really counts as a Good Plan thoroughly vetted and discussed with the dadgum team…"

Though it has been discussed with a team. Which is important.

But really, this plan to slather an anthropromorphic raccoon in honey probably isn't any worse than probably anything else she could have come up with. And anyway, she's strangely convinced, just so strangely convinced that this is gonna fix everything.


Phil Coulson looks up from pouring coffee into a cup that says "World's Greatest Dad."

Hazel eyes narrow, a brow furrows, and he murmurs: "I sense a disturbance in the force. Someone, somewhere, is about to do something I expressly asked them not to do."


"So, basically, just another Tuesday." (End Cut).

"Oh HELL no."

By default one learns very quickly that any time Atli has a plan of any kind, one needs to be wary. Of course that's about as much as one can do because there seems no bounds nor reason as to where the mind of the Asgardian may fly and from what depths she will piece together any sort of idea.

It had taken Rocket several seconds to process what exactly Atli was suggesting- see, one's gotta kind of reword and reorder things when it comes to Asgard-speak. Okay, so half the time it will still make absolutely no sense, but when she's standing there rather menacingly armed with things full of honey and looking at you in a much different manner than the goo-goo eyes he's usually seen.

"No flarkin' way," he growls, although there's just a slight note of fear tinging his tone as he steps back. "I am not taking a honey bath, I am not going to play bait! Blow up things, shoot 'em full'a holes, utter and complete annihilation, okay, yes- I am totally for that but I draw the line at being a honey-coated snack!"

A mystic washing pond of unparalleled beauty.

In the distant future, Thor imagines, the elder Galactus will come to do battle for the right to bathe in its healing waters.

In the near future Thor imagines himself floating nude upon its surface as the crystal waters lap across his chiseled abdomen.

Except, Thor did not know where the washing pond was located and when he pressed Atli for information she reminded him that a demon-bear sought to drink from the mystic pool.


Thor nods dutifully as Atli speaks having already unscrewed the caps from two of the honey-bears and is currently drizzling honey over his hands. If there is one thing more alluring than nude bathing in a mystic washing pond it is the thought of bathing after having smote some demons or bears or demon-bears.

"Fear not, rabbit," Thor says squeezing a glob of amber liquid onto his palm, "The bear will seek your flesh but the honey we have hidden within the tree will give it pause. I swear I will protect thee and then we shall scrub each other clean within the washing pond."

Thor drops the empty bears and sort-of reaches at Rocket in demonstration. Honey oozing down his arms.

"How are these people not extinct?" Rocket groans, dragging his clawed hands down his face.

Finally, someone who understands her burden. Finally, someone who can see how good her plans are! Poor, poor Rogue. Hopefully it will soon wear off. Of course when Rocket begins to back away and reject her most wonderous plan, those eyes of her return to normal configuration. It really is something, how Asgardians seems to magnify just about everything. These great, larger than life, god-like beings that walk among the stars and wrestle with space dragons and whatnot, and even here, when they're making disappointed puppy dog eyes, they seem to have terrible, pitiable power.

"But dear, Fair Rocket. Will you not think of the Bathing Pond?"

Atli motions yonder, more towards the mansion side of the grounds, where there is yet a lingering, shattered visage of a pool.

"If the bear claims the Immortal Washing Pond and it's rejuvinating properties, it shall take over all of Midgard. And then, you do know what that means, do you not, Fair, dear Rocket? It means.. no more pizza. Verily, all those slices, lost, like tears in the rain." She might have watches some sort of Blade Jogger movie recently or something.


"Yes, you see! Thor has shown it is harmless. Truly, if we do not banish this dark power, the pond will never regenerate! Please, faiir Rocket, be the honeyrabbit we need?"

Rogue opens her mouth to share that the 'mystic bathing pond' is not a place where honey should ever go.

Then, she slowly closes it. Because this seems like the kind of detail that maybe might crush the hearts of the two Asgardians, and that just seems criminal.

Instead she adds helpfully: "It's good honey, at least. The real good local kind."

As if. This makes things. Better.

And: "And it will sure as shooting help you hold on to your weapon. For. Shooting…"

At this, the Southern Belle decides to stop adding to the chorus of voices trying to convince the little guy this is a great way to spend his time. Instead, she opts for something else that's always worked for her. Becauase, only because, she is so sure this will Fix Everything, she turns the full weight of her big, sweet, emerald puppy dog eyes on fair Rocket.

"Nrrghhh…." Maybe he's trying to shut out Atli's great puppy eyes by shoving his own in with his palms. At least it looks that way. Or he could just be having a migraine.

"It's a glarkin' pool. If barely even that now! And for the record, I am not ever sharing a bath with anyone," Rocket snaps, shooting a look at Thor, upper lip twitching in disgust as he stares at him as he applies honey to his palms. "Seriously, what is wrong with you people?!" How does he end up being the sane one here??

Rogue gets a dose of Rocket-heated-glare when she chimes in. Who's side is she on?! Who is this chick anyway?? And how long does it take a tree to go to the bathroom?! He knew he shouldn't have gotten Groot that Big Gulp.

Not that he's thinking of hiding behind the treenager or anything, just because he's finding himself helplessly outnumbered against three clearly insane humanoids. It tickles at fragmented memories from his days back on Halfworld.

"Stay back! If we're gonna deal with the damn bear again I'll do it without honey so don't touch me!!"

"Asgard protects the nine realms," Thor reminds Rocket at his question, "Our death would herald the arrival of deities far more troubling than a demon-turned-bear. An eternity of terror where your body was flayed only to be bathed in the washing pond so that you might live to be flayed once more."

Thor waggles his fingers and starts towards Rocket.

Slowly. So slowly. Accept the honey. "Don't worry," he whispers, "I'll protect you."

He is then decidedly rebuffed.

Thor flicks his hands with a firm shake of his elbows sending globs of honey in all directions. The God of Thunder narrows gaze for a moment and then gives a slow nod of his head, "Then we shall do this the hard way," except when Thor says /hard way/ it sounds more like /fun way/ and he wipes the remainder of the honey upon his hauberk before giving the pile of plastic bears a hard look.

"Atli, do you think it will be attracted to me?"

From where he's been standing the whole time, young Groot has had the strangest look on his tree face.

One can even say it's akin to a smile of straight-up amusement. Which is still very weird because there's no video game to hide behind here — most likely because he said something and was banned from playing video games for the rest of the trip.

It probably doesn't help that he's already gotten started with the honey disaster within these half-baked plans. He had to deal with the boredom somehow. Slathering himself in some of the honey thrown around, the treenager roughly chuckles as he then turns to look down at Rocket.

And then he bends forward. With his arms flinging wide open.

"I am Grooot~"

You know it's really a nice day.

It's a great day even!

You only have to ignore two things -

Firstly: The group, their honey, and Rocket's rather angry pushback.

Secondly: The mass of shadows that blanket the majority of the grounds that surround Xavier's School.

Otherwise the birds sing, the bees buzz, and several thousand ants begin to swarm thanks to the honey that's dripped upon the ground. All is decidedly quiet.

It really is.

Up until it's not.

There's perhaps the smallest of warnings for those most observant. Clumps of grass and flowers suddenly grow brown, droop, and wilt, but that only happens seconds before suddenly the ground around each person ERUPTS in a fury of dirt, stone and half-dead plants.

Thick tendrils of black shadows burst through the ground like some savage beasts and a dark rope stabs at each person found today.

The air around the five begins to quickly cool, until breath begins to fog and frost starts to crystalize upon leaves and grass.

"I doubt it. You're twice the fool I am and it barely tried to eat me at all." This, Atli remarks, to Thor, before seeing that Groot has a plan of his own. What a fool she is! Of course! Honey is LOVE! This is the way to Rocket's angry heart! She thinks to do the same but is suddenly beset upon by shadowy tendrils, which make her squeeze the honeybears with such force that, regrettably, no one is getting spared that honey explosion.

What sweet morsels she has made of all of them.

A tendril bodily lifts her from the ground and then slams her back to it, breath frosting on the air as it's forced from her lungs and she's stabbed at by shadowy evil. "Verily foul shadows, you are not the A'askavariian god of Night! Un-tendril me an-" Failing to find Asgardians very stabbable the tendril smashes her to the ground a few times more. "Rocket! Now would be a good time for you to use your most special of shooty things! Friend Rogue, perhaps you could aggressively cuddle these shadows into submission!" Atli struggles and strains, but does not yet break the hold of the vile tentacle.

There was perhaps an itch of warning on the back of Rogue's neck, tied to the bear as she somewhat is still. She leaps back just in time to avoid the burst of tentacles coming up in front of her, slipping slightly on the frost that coats everything.

But she's got thunder in her pocket and lightning in her shoes, so to speak, courtesy of yon Asgardian. Lightning crackles at her gloved fingertips for a moment, and then she tries to fling a bolt of it at the tentacles coming after her. And if her hair briefly stands up on end like a mad scientist's, well, every girl's allowed to have a bad hair day.

"Verily hath I already tried the aggressive cuddle route, sugar," she calls back to Atli. "It didn't end too good!"

Granted, that ability to shadow step still hasn't left her. She sucked in a fair bit of bear the last time she faced off against the thing. It just doesn't seem like the best tool for this particular juncture, where all the shadows seem likely to be full of hostile intent.

See, normally, when one isn't beset by people trying to get his fur all gross and sticky then Rocket would otherwise be more attuned to these unusual sorts of things. There's perhaps the briefest tickle of unease registered, right before Groot comes at him threateningly with his goopy limbs. "Don't even think about it—!" he snarls as he leaps back.

But his feet don't touch the ground as something else instead chooses to come up from it at precisely that moment. He sees the movement too late, and as he twists to yank his gun from its holster it gets knocked away by one of the shadowy tendrils, offsetting his balance completely for whatever attempt he would have made to land on his feet.

The Son of Odin gives a derisive snort. His feelings a bit hurt for Rocket having rebuffed his own attempts at a honeyed hug.

Thor then bends at the knees to collect more jars of honey and he begins to open them without bothering with the screw-cap. Twisting the head and the torsos of the plastic bears he breaks them apart as if they were tissue causing large globs of honey to go down his forearms.

If honey were a cologne then Thor would smell great. Using his wrists and hands he begins to smear the substance across his neck and face. It only takes a few bears to make him completely disgusting.

With honey dripping from his chin he scrutinizes Atli. This this was all for naught?

No. Atli is wrong. (Thor thinks).

He missed the smallest observances but the sudden influx of magical power causes his skin to goose-bump in a familiar war. Eyes widen, Thor grins, the moment he could have used to try and duck or dodge instead spent setting his feet. When the tentacle bursts through the ground he moves to block it from piercing his body and then DIVES ONTOP OF IT fist sending tremors through the foundation of the Xavier Mansion, some nearby geological institute detecting a tremor, as he mercilessly pounds at the ground.

Mjolnir rests against a tree not too far away. The hammer clean of Thor's honeyed hands.

—Oh hey, trouble.

"I am Groot!?"

So much for trying to hug Rocket. The treenager finds himself busy with a few of those tendrils now wrapping around his body, scowling as he thrashes a honey-covered arm to keep it away. His other arm rises up as well, trying to catch hold of the next attack in order to yank it from its grounding, but Thor's majestic tremors simultaneously throws him off balance. "I AM GROOT!"

While the shadows may not seem intelligent, they are. Or, at the very least, there is an intelligence behind them.

That intelligence learns and adapts and when it finds the Asgardians quite unstabbable, that causes it to rethink its tactics. So, as Thor slams bodily into his tendril, and Atli finds herself bodily slammed by hers, both find dozens of more tendrils popping up nearby. Those additional tendrils lash out to try and enwrap both Asgardians tightly and if successful they will squeeze.


Yes, they are definitely trying to squeeze them both to death.

For Rocket, his gun goes flying and the tendril nearest the Raccoon tries to enwrap the Guardian of the Galaxy by the legs. To yank his feet from beneath himself, so the shadows can pull him away. The gun, for the moment, is ignored by the shadows.

Groot manages to grab that tendril and while he may have wished to yank the thing from the ground, he doesn't quite get a chance to. That missed opportunity allows the shadow to try and wind its way up the talking Tree's arms. As it tries to wind its way up Groot's arms its touch becomes worse than simply cold. It becomes freezing, as it tries to freeze the bark-like skin of the Tree-like Guardian of the Galaxy.

Rogue calls forth the lightning and it smites the shadowed tendril nearest her. That rope of darkness sizzles with a soft hiss before it dissipates in a small cloud of ash and dust. This causes the sea of shadows that surrounds the woods nearest the mansion to pause in their errant ebb and flow. That pause causes the full attention of the shadows to turn upon the small honey-fied team.

Then with a ripple a very large (and possibly deadly) wave of shadow rolls toward the group!

Tendrils lash about and encircle the Girl of Thunder in a shadowy deathtrap that nearly pulls the life from her with it's squeezing power. Somehow, this feels exactly the opposite of what she assumes it would be like to be held by a planet-melting firebird, and so, is is The Worst. Darkness crowds her vision. Her eyes roll back in her head until she is watching her companions, upside down, struggle in their own ways.

Honey-Thor thinks to out-brawl the beast. It is quite inspiring, no matter how foolish it is. Rocket and Groot clearly are biding their time to make their move. But Rogue? Rogue is perhaps the greatest strategist of them all.

Lightning fills the eyes of the girl of thunder, and as that wave begins to roll in, both Thor and Rogue will feel her pulling on the stormclouds, rolling in a whole other kind of wave.

"Thor! You are much better at lightning fists than I!" That is to say, Atli's control over lightning is, perhaps, rudimentary. She can encircle her weapon with it. She can throw blasts here and there, but she is not so good at blasting things close by without harming her other, non-lightning proof friends.

But she is quite good at calling it down without care for what it does.

A primal cry splits the air as she thrusts a hand past the squeezing shadows, ignoring her own peril to call down a sudden cascade of lightning strikes on the advancing field of shadows. Not one or two or ten or twenty. A hundred, all in a blinding succession of godly fury that has the side effect of lighting her own body up with crackling energy and probably making her rather unpleasant to hold.

It's really good that Atli picks up the banner of the lightning with her impressive godly fury…

Because Rogue lets out a yelp as the wave of shadows comes pouring towards them. She tries to outrun it, ends up tripping over a branch, ends up hitting the deck, and ends up caught in it. At the last second, the very last second she just goes ahead and tries to shadowstep behind it or something, sure that she's either going to get eaten or fried. Or fried and eaten. They say Southerners fry everything but this is downright Not OKAY.

Rocket lands on the ground practically on all fours, with only enough time for a quick look around at the situation. Oh, this day just gets worse! Or was this the plan??

He's not terribly worried about the Asgardians- they're built like tanks. Rogue, he's still not sure where she's popped up from but she's shooting lightning and talked funny so he's going to group her with the Asgardians for now. Groot —

"Groot!" he shouts, eyes falling then upon his gun, which he makes a scramble for with full intent to help out his pal-turned-adopted-son. Instead he finds himself eating dirt once again as shadows twist about his feet and cut his lunge for his weapon short. His claws make furrows in the ground as he's dragged back. When that fails he lets go to twist himself around and claw and bite at the shadowy vines.

The impact of Thor's fists compresses the earth. Whereas he had hoped to pound his foe into oblivion he suddenly finds it multiplying about him.

Coils of darkness encircle the Son of Odin. They begin to tighten as if seeking to test who has the greatest strength in the nine realms. Asgardian muscles flex against the coils and the Thunderer's jaw sets as if wanting to win this contest through force alone simply to prove his strength.

'Thor! You are much better a lightning than I!'

Pinpricks of light has crowded his vision as a particularly stubborn tentacle found that Thor's throat seems to lack muscular resistance. He blinks, hard, somehow swallowing air and then looking to the situation that surrounds him.

Realizing their peril he feels a sudden pang of anger. The sky above suddenly becomes murky as a spiral of storm clouds seems to coalesce from nothingness. The darkness around Thor flickers in flashes of blue as currents of electricity arc outward from his body.

Nearby, Mjolnir begins to sparkle as well. The mallet quivers and slowly begins to lift from the ground as a gust of wind passes through.


Lightning connects from cloud to ground passing directly through Thor. Metal sings. The hammer flies into his grasp. Holding aloft the magic hammer a shower of electric tendrils arc from its head across the myriad tentacles. The lashes of arcane power twist around the darkness yet somehow leaving mortal flesh unsinged. Then at once he pivots and swings the mallet forward so its head faces the encroaching shadows.

An electrostatic barrier leaps forth to meet the darkness seemingly powered by the twisting loops of electricity that move about Thor's form.

Wait, why is everything feeling so cold now? Is it already winter, where leaves have long fallen off of their branches and are left barren amid a dreary atmosphere??

NO it's not even close! This tendril thing is doing something awful and it's doing it very well AND HE DOES NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT. Groot cries out in surprise, jerking his arm back as fast as he can but without much success, watching in horrific fascination as the honey crystalizes along with it.

The temptation of breaking off his arm altogether now sits at the forefront of his sentient tree mind, but! Amid hearing Rocket shout his name and the overall roar of thunder, the crackle of lightning is very distinct, alive and thriving between not one, but two points of action.

Like Rogue, he doesn't want to burn to a crisp. These tendrils have to stop.

"I AM GROOT!" The adolescent shriek is lost among the noise, but he struggles against his foe as the light dances, making an effort to ground himself as he now tries to ram his body against it full force.

If only he had his original size and bearing to make it work…

Rogue shadowsteps away from the oncoming shadows and when she enters the void between worlds the attention of the Demon Bear turns upon the mutant. It's a heavy pressure, a cold and calculating pressure, and the eyes of the Demon Bear narrow. It reaches one great sahdowed paw for Rogue, but before it can touch her she's gone. Out of the shadows and back to the real world, back to the forested area that surrounds the Mansion.

Briefly a growl haunts the air around her and then it fades to nothing.

Both Rocket and Groot struggle against the icy grip of the shadows. The smash, and bite, claw and pull, but to no avail. Those shadows are strong, perhaps even indefeatable thanks to being fed by soul energy and dark magics. More tendrils rise from the ground to lash at sentient tree and raccoon.

The tsunami of darkness that approaches rises high upward, enough to blot the light from the sun for a brief moment. The darkness only grows as both Atli and Thor call upon their respective powers of Storm and Fury, and while the shadows rejoice in the darkness it doesn't last long.

Hundreds of strikes come first from Atli. They slam into the darkness with a great crash of electricity and as each strike hits home holes appear in the oncoming wave.

However, that doesn't stop it.

It only makes it angry and with its rage it pulls upon heavily upon its own powers. The souls within it shriek as the darkness burns through them and with a distance echo of a roar, the wave of blackness *crashes* and breaks against the wall of lightning.

The ground shakes and the majority of the power behind that darkness spends itself upon the brightness that Thor calls down.

After all, what is the enemy of all shadows if not light?

As Atli hits the ground, dropped by the horrible darkness, she looks upon the reconstructed wave that comes for her with a set jaw and renewed determination. And yet, she knows this might be folly. With her hand raised, Jarnbjorn hits her palm, lightning turning to spear until she can leap at her enemy with lightning infused fury, crackling all over and striking out with arcing, cutting swings to try and keep this wave from her companions.

And yet it is all for folly. Nearly bowled over, consumed, she reaches out as the darkness washes over her, destruction almost assured.

Is it over?

Stormclouds part, and a ray of light strikes the wave. For almost everyone, it might be familiar, but Rogue alone will have the sudden pleasure of knowing the arrival of a new hero. Rainbow light streams in. A cacophonous sound fills the air, and suddenly, thunderously, the bleating warcry of a rainbow-shrouded goat batters back the shadows as Toothbender comes screaming in from the sky.

Rogue is definitely knowing the pleasure of being alive, unfried, and in one peace. She had thrown up her arms as if bracing for the bear's grab, not at all sure how that would end up going. She leaves them up against the assault of godly light that's happening…

Only to drop them with a soft: "What in tarnation…?"

Her reaction to the arrival of yon heroic goat.

She can sense, though, the shadows weakening. She bites her lip. She wants the shadows, not the bear. If she can take most of them for herself, that might give the bear practically nothing to lose, might let the thunder and lightning beat it down. Maybe not defeat it, but at least send it reeling and stop the attack.

So that is what she attempts, quietly stealing as the louder and more effective set pummels, calling shadows to wind around her arms and body like ribbons, like a cloak of night.

Tangling with with something near impervious builds on already existing frustration. He's sticky and now he's got dead grass and dirt added to that mess because his FRIENDS wanted to use him as bait and he he can't even blow off steam with a blaster. Hearing Groot's shriek is the last straw.

His heart thuds against his chest as he still stubbornly tries with increasing desperation to rip free of those shadowy tendrils, echoing in his ears and drowning out everything else. Dimly he becomes aware of the slight vibration and warmth from his pocket, except that he left his phone in the car and carries only loose change and keys to the ship ignitions. …the last happens to be attached to an old and mostly forgotten etched metal plate that might have once been some kind of medallion and maaaybe might have its own edge of magic to it but really who cares, it's nothing important, right?

The light that shines from said pocket is an angry red, and it starts to spread over the raccoonoid himself even as he continues to wrestle against the shadows. The growl that comes from the little Guardian twists and warps with his own form as he begins to grow and change, shaggier with jagged, twisting horns protruding from either side of his head and spikes bursting out from the lengthening striped tail.

Elongated teeth and fangs snap at the shadowy bindings, the were-bilgesnipe sensing its moment of weakness as the lightning onslaught takes its toll upon the darkness. Once freed, the beast doesn't cease in trying to attack the offending darkness. Except that as the rainbow light comes, it also draws the thing's attention, which could be a Big Mistake, but like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park, the creature shifts its attention towards the fresh movement, with jaws wide open.

The electrostatic barrier snarls in flashing protest to the darkness that assails it.

As the stroke of lightning drew eyes towards the woods of Westchester what they would see next is a staccato of blue-white flashes and the sound of an endless string of firecrackers. As if all the insects of the world began diving headfirst into the world's greatest bug-light.

Within the woods, the electric field collapses turning upon itself and twisting round-and-round like a tidal pool. A singular note cast upon the forge of Nidavellir rings outward for a moment and is then broken by a rush of force as the hammer spins upon the leather thong creating a barrier-of-power between Thor and the darkness.

The darkness moves him backward a step. Boots carving trenches in the earth but this only makes him lean into his effort and strain forward against demonic will.

Then he feels Toothbender. The unbridled power of Bifrost somehow captured in the half-witted billy.

"ATLI," Thor bellows as he tries to push forward, "NEXT TIME WE COVER THE GOAT IN HONEY."

Thor is fairly certain that burying Rocket's bones would not result in a resurrection. They really should have used the goat. Except this moment of true wisdom is ruined because Rocket becomes something terrible. No, something awesome.

Thor seems jubilant over this, "NEVERMIND!"

And then drops to one knee reaching to grab the spinning haft of Mjolnir and countering its infinite force with his own strength as he drives it into the ground. *FWOOOSH* Shattering tree and firmament as he carves the landscape in twain for nearly a half-mile.

The more Groot tries to fight, the more it seems hopeless. The tendrils are stronger than he is, and they increase in number. Wiry tree arms flail almost uselessly to the point of exhaustion, his grip slipping…

But the light. It's so bright. He tries to shield his eyes, but is instantly dumbstruck by the changes his fuzzy guardian/friend/father figure goes through.

It's not pretty. Very metal, as some may say, and crazy impressive, but not at all pretty.

Surely the next "I am Groot" contains an expletive, but no one can stop him from using it. Not only that, they're joined by the goat! The tide feels like it's turning!

"I am Groot!" he exclaims in tandem with Thor's mighty shouts, finding the strength to push back and riiiiIP the tendrils out of the ground. More tree yelling emphasizes these actions, channeling teen rage and group triumph into his efforts right as Mjolnir meets the ground. It will also knock him off of his own feet, but he doesn't care!

Even with both Atli and Thor's lightning, the darkness continues to push through. To push at the group.

Weakened, yes, but still strong.

Atli calls forth her spear and Goat, and both Woman and Goat jump at the shadows to pummel.

Rogue isn't idle either, she reaches for those shadows and delicately nips them away. First one, then another, and more, until she's clothed with the darkness that she's stolen for herself.

Rocket shifts and changes, and lashes at the darkness with tooth and claw, and the strength of a were-bilgesnap. Groot likewise presses his attack and yanks those tendrils of shadows from the ground, pulling them away from the whole.

The tide is definitely turning and now, as Thor slams Mjolnir upon the ground, the tide PUSHES against the darkness and breaks it.

It's an audible crack and snap and with a sound like a snake, the darkness hisses and retreats backwards.

It retreats to the lake of darkness that resides closer to the Mansion, it retreats from this very confusing group of people, and with that retreat the air begins to warm and summer returns.

Light shines once more and the shadows that remain are just that; natural and normal.

As the shadow recedes, Atli blinks, smiling at the sight of Toothbender, so bright, so delightfullly full of rainbow color and OH GOD THE WERERACOONBILGESNIPE. Atli simply stares as Toothbender seems to notice he's being stalked. Notices he's about to be pounced… and then promptly reves rainbow light at his hindparts and powers into another realm, far, far away from that terrible creature. Immediately, Atli frowns, and then looks up at Rocket, and past him, towards the horizon.

Perhaps confused, perplexed, or otherwise out of it from having her head mashed against the ground to many times, she speaks to the were-creature in a familiar tone with a casual observation.

"Verily.. sun's getting real low."

As in, they should do what they always do when the sun gets real low.

Go to Waffle House and forget this ever happened.

"…Groot help!."

Thor shifts to stand the air suddenly warm and relatively silent even though the forest still sways from his impact. The smell of shattered cedar and pine are at least pleasant. Wait, does the forest also have the scent of maple?

Tossing Mjolnir carelessly and catching it Thor turns around as if the whole affair had been a good way to pass the time…

…except that he had been covered in honey. And he's been pounding dirt. Then he destroyed part of a forest. So what you have is Thor, coated in honey, covered in every imaginable bit of particulate a forest can conjure and now the gnats seem to be swarming in.

"Waffles?" Thor says in consideration, squinting past the group towards the washing pond which is somehow 'out of order', and feeling a fair bit of regret for the missed opportunity but he cannot stay in bad spirits for long, "And the flesh stripped from the belly of a great hog," he proposes, "With the unhatched spawn three dozen fowl, scrambled .. and covered."

Realizing his state of cleanliness and the lack of a proper washing pond ..

..it begins to rain.

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