The Bub Speaks.
IC Internet Post: The Bub Speaks.
IC Details
IC Author: Deadpool
Source: Deadpool
Reach: International
IC Date: April 23, 2019
Associated Characters
Associated Plotlines

Normally, this would be a grainy and shaky video that's being posted up on various internet sites in a hasty attempt to get the word out. However, thanks to technology and the Starksung Galaxy 616, this video is on POINT.

The images become crisp and clear to reveal a person in a red and black suit, tightly wrapped around in all the places it should be. A mask stops his identity from being seen… although he seems to have glued a beard to the chin of the mask and is wearing a large black top hat.

He looks up from his note cards, which say Super Sloppy Double Dare on the back and gives the camera a bit of a wave.

"Hello there. I would like to take this moment to speak to all of you, today, about a topic that has been living on a prayer since it saw Inception. And that topic is… The Superhero Registration Act of Latter Day Saints." He cycles through the first card.

"You see, four score and three logs ago, I was just a simple man. Living my life as if I hadn't a care in the world. I had stopped by the mall to buy some Clinique and gravy for my live-in girlfriend Vane—- er, Helsing. Vane Helsing." A quick cough to cover that up! "When all of a sudden, I was RKO'd out of nowhere and into a huge pile of beauty supplies. As my Bad Luck Brian would have it, lightning struck the store at that exact moment and causing a… tidal surge of beauty and wonderment to befall me! It was a most heinous event." He cycles through that next card.

"This act of Divine Intermission must've triggered something deep inside of me because when I awoke in the hospital, I found myself amidst chaos! A riot even! My face, my body had become so… Attractive that people were losing their minds! They could no longer contain their primal urges! I had become a monster. A true sexy beast. But I knew, I knew I could not let these new found abilities go unchecked. The world would not survive." He cycles through the next card.

"I fashioned this suit that you see before you, as a way to protect everyone from my exhilarating good looks. I never returned to my live-in girlfriend, Vane Helsing, for fear that she would lose her mind upon seeing me. I was forced to live alone. In fear. In hunger. In really cheap motels with no mirrors. It was frightening to say the least. But then, the SRA joined the Wu-Tang Clan and made my life so much better. As one of the first to Register, I've taken it upon myself to make this video. To tell my story. And to help others out there, like me, realize that you're not alone. You too can be a part of this change for the better. You too can reap the benefits and the perks of no longer being a wallflower. You can be yourself and live your life on your terms." He cycles through the last card and realizes he's back at the beginning. The cards get tossed to the side. as he focuses his attention on the camera.

"My name is Logan Jackman. Also known as The Bub. And I'm proud to be a Registered Mutant in the state of New York. I believe that there's a little superhero in all of us. And right now, that little superhero wants YOU to Register too. I believe it was the great pioneer of yesteryear, Spike Lee, that said: Get On The Bus. Thank you. And May The Farce Be With You."

As The Bub moves towards the camera to turn it off, we can hear: "… wait, does my Registration even count? I'm Canadian…"

OOC Notes:

Posted by Deadpool on 25 Apr 2019 18:40.

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